"Gurian argues that as feminists have changed the rules, they've made boys the problem. By minimizing the importance of basic biological differences, and establishing girls' standards as the ones all children must follow, feminists have wrecked boyhood." (157)
I don't believe that feminists have wrecked boyhood. Little boys still run around and play, just like little girls do. It's just not acceptable for them to be violent (which it shouldn't be anyway). I don't think we're holding boys to girls' standards as well. I don't believe that we're trying to make them feminine, just well behaved. And what makes these standards girl standards? Is it because they aren't rough, or violent?
"If all the boys are white and middle class, at they're not all straight. Most therapists treat homosexuality casually, dropping in a brief reference, "explaining" it as biological, and urging compassion and understanding before returning to more "important" stuff." (158)
Why do all these writers only briefly mention homosexuality? If they're so involved with talking about how boys should be boys, why not give this more say? These authors only talk about testosterone, and how boys are wild and crazy. Not all boys are like this either. It seems as though they are as restricting as they say feminism is on men. They're only talking about a certain type of boy, not all of them. This isn't fair.
The books that are written with an understanding of male privilege - and the need to challenge it - are the ones that offer the most useful tools to improve boys' lives.... Feminism encourages men - and their sons - to be more emotionally open and expressive, to develop empathic skills, and to channel emotional outbursts away from violence." (159).
This relates to the Johnson piece we read, because it was about how males need to recognize that they have power and privilege. The authors of these books Kimmel talks about need to recognize that male privilege needs to be changed, and that the people that will change it are the people who have it themselves. Feminism should encourage men to be more emotional. Many men (I know) don't show many emotions, and I think this is part of the reason that men can have outbursts. Women can also bottle their emotions up as well and have outbursts, but it is excepted socially for women to be emotional. Why can boys and men be this way too?
Hey Jess, just wanted to let you know that I used your blog to write mine because I chose extended comments and I liked the points you talked about.
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ReplyDeletehi, I enjoyed your post! I thought you brought up some really good points especially about homosexuality. I totally agree that it's unfair--writers only touch upon the topic, never go into detail!
ReplyDeletep.s. I like your picture, I find it humorous & cute (I love old-ish looking pictures) although I do NOT agree that that is what boys should look like.
Love the picture! And yes, thats is how little boys should look like.
ReplyDeleteHi Jess,
ReplyDeleteLove the picture in the end how cute. I like the oldness (is that a word)of the picture. I agree with you on the first quote too because I do believe that boys need to brought up well behaved and respectful, but they don't have to be feminine, they just shouldn't get into trouble. I think every parent tries their best to raise good children, especially now in days. (talk about kids in my store, out of control) Lets not get started.
So I went ahead and did my extended comment on this post because I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said on here. I mainly discussed how it's unfair to just focus on privileged white boys and forget about the rest, just like the point you raised here. I do love your post as a whole because you used the few good quotes that raised a good point.
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